Frustration

Ok, so I have a question to just throw out there..

Why is it when I want help, its almost impossible for me to get it; yet when I just want to end it, I can't get away from help.

I'm so sick of this.  All I want is help.  I need medication, counseling and just a chance to go through life without wanting to hurt myself. FOR ONCE. But nope, its not possible for me.  Theres no help out the for me. At least thats how the guy from the Mental Health Association made me feel.  No I don't have insurance.  If I had insurance, I would not be in the predicament I am currently in.

This is so irritating.

Screw psychatrists, screw doctors, screw insurance.

“Remembered for setting the world on fire…”

Mental Health Icon:  Edie Sedgwick (1943 - 1971)

One of Andy Warhol's Superstars, she was a beautiful and unique woman and not to mention a popular muse for many fashion designers in the 60s.  She died from a barbituate overdose at the age of 28.  I think of her as an idol because much like my life, she seems to be tossed around by the man she truly and desperately fell in love with.  He crushed her and was abandoned by her only true friend, Warhol.  She was plagued with many psychological demons and was admitted to several mental hospitals throughout her life.  She seemed to be getting better after she married Michael Post, a man she met while in rehab but her sobriety didn't last long and continued drinking and abusing drugs which in turn caused her death.

Here's a scene that gave me the idea to chop off all my hair in '08 after leaving Milwaukee.  Also includes the scene where she meets Bob Dylan who is the aforementioned "love of her life".

Review: Daybreakers (2010)

Review: Daybreakers (2010)

The year is 2019 and a plague has swept the world causing humans to transform into vampires....

Review: Youth in Revolt (2010)

New movie review on Hubpages:

Review: Youth in Revolt (2010)

Upon first glance, this movie just gives off that feeling of a "Superbad" sequel. We are introduced to Nick Twisp (Michael Cera), whose name alone prevents him from losing his virginity....

Again?

Am I not allowed to be sad every once in a while. It's really irritating when I can't even be sad and pretend in public because it's the easiest thing to do. I come home and instead of comfort, I get suspicious and accusing eyes.

Those who understand, those who know, will never let me know they know. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I beg. My words are like water. For a split second, you feel it, but soon it all evaporates and its just a memory of what was once there.

So where am I? Spiraling down the rabbit hole. Chasing the white rabbit that I seem to never come close to. Drink me, eat me.

One day I will make it out of Wonderland and when I do I hope that there will be someone on the other side to lend a hand and lift me out. One day....some day....

YAY!!!!

Happy Birthday to me! I'm 24 years old today! I'm feeling ok... a little down because I expected a call from someone miles away who didn't call. Maybe he thought I'd laugh at him and hang up but I wouldn't. I would be happy. :/

Anyway, Disney tomorrow. Memories.

It's never been easier to afford an annual pass to Universal Orlando

It's never been easier to afford an annual pass to Universal Orlando

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Unwind before the holidays at Universal Orlando

Unwind before the holidays at Universal Orlando

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