Frustration

Ok, so I have a question to just throw out there..

Why is it when I want help, its almost impossible for me to get it; yet when I just want to end it, I can't get away from help.

I'm so sick of this.  All I want is help.  I need medication, counseling and just a chance to go through life without wanting to hurt myself. FOR ONCE. But nope, its not possible for me.  Theres no help out the for me. At least thats how the guy from the Mental Health Association made me feel.  No I don't have insurance.  If I had insurance, I would not be in the predicament I am currently in.

This is so irritating.

Screw psychatrists, screw doctors, screw insurance.